Our Vows

Jordan, love of my life, 

As we stand here together

Prepared to make a lifelong commitment

Some of those gathered today 

may look at us and see differences

And wonder how we two are about to become one

 

I’m from Gen X, who gave the world 80s music, 

and you are from Gen Y, who gave the world avocado toast

Conveniently delivered to your home 

30 minutes late 

at three times the cost

I’m Indian American, 

and you’re Mexican American 

I’m Hindu and you’re Christian

 

Maybe even Plants vs. Zombies, 

All levels of which I have completed successfully  

whereas one can question whether you are actually on the Zombies side 

given your plant placements 

 

Some may wonder what could be the basis of our love? 

Is what we have real and everlasting?

 

From the first time we met 

none of those superficial differences ever mattered

In fact we know that they are not real

 

You love random 80s songs 

and I eat more avocado toast than you do

I make an excellent red pozole 

and you chose Bollywood Zumba for college gym credit

We both love rice and beans, or rice and dal,

Dal, what you call bean curry

 

We do have intimate differences not apparent to everyone

I don’t like to sit in the sun and you love to tan

I spend hours reading the New York Times

And you spend hours on your GameBoy

I like to lean in and you like to lie down

Even so, we accept and accommodate our individual needs

 

Importantly, despite religious differences

We both respect each other’s spiritual journeys

I am thankful that the universe has led me to you

To admire a face with a view and often perfect hair

To hear your infectious heartfelt laughter

To fill my life with endless stories and some jokes 

that should have been workshopped more in your head

You, Buttigieg 

 

I am thankful that your reliance on God

Has allowed you 

to not only overcome personal challenges 

But even helped you to thrive 

and to be gracious to those who would hold you back

 

We have been together these last four years 

Growing, living, loving, laughing, dancing, singing

Having Kiran in our lives

Making new friends

Traveling to new places

Surviving a pandemic

 

Simply being our authentic selves

with no pretenses

No need to be anyone else

 

When you talked to me about marriage

Exactly one year ago from today, 

after a wonderful night out

I was like ‘woah woah woah woah’

Are you seriously proposing?

And you said yeah

So I said yes

 

Deciding to get married was easy

I couldn’t imagine not being by your side 

You have brought joy to my life

You are passionate with your love

You have taught me to listen and grow

 

Our future will have incredible moments of happiness 

As we share many new experiences

But I realize that we have to be prepared

for moments of sadness and suffering

When we need to see beyond our selves

When we need to face difficult truths

When we need to take care of each other

 

I promise that these challenging times will bring us closer together

As they have in the past

I promise to show the respect, provide the acceptance, create the trust 

that is based in an unending, eternal love in my heart for you

 

Jordan, will you be my partner in life, now and forever?

We’re both boys?!?

​

I knew you were special from the very moment that we met. I’ll always treasure that night. It was everything, a foretaste of what was to come. We laid ourselves completely bare (in more ways than one!). We were honest with one another in sharing our vulnerabilities, our love for our families, and our spiritual journeys – in kindness, love, and acceptance. I remember telling you, “This would only be better if we were in love…”

 

Then you blocked me! You stupid jerk, hahaha. Luckily, I happened to find you on a different app and told you something along the lines of, “I’ve been trying to get you to seriously date me,” to which you replied, “I would date you in a heartbeat.” 

 

Fast forward three years: we went dancing out in Boston. I remember looking around at everyone else in the club and realized how special we were! We seemed to be the only couple with so much joy! We seemed to be the only couple who was enamored with one another. We were just as alive and in love as the day that we met. I had a similar thought, “this could only be better if we were married.” That was a Friday night exactly one year ago today, I am overjoyed that you said yes! 

 

I am so glad we met. Honestly, you are everything I could have ever asked for. You are alive! You prove to me time ant time again that you have more energy than I do. You’ve opened my eyes to how beautiful life can be in ways both great and small – from the simple joy of a perfect meal (which you have likely prepared), to the marvelous grandeur of Glacier National Park. 

 

You are kind. You are always considering the comfort and the needs of others. And you do so in the sweetest and most thoughtful ways. I’ll never forget how I casually mentioned how much I loved your hand soap to find that you bought me the lotion for Christmas. To this day, Oudh Gold is my scent, I’m wearing it today! I remember how early in our relationship I mentioned how much I loved freshly cut flowers, to this day our home is always full of them. 

 

You are so smart, and yet so humble. Despite all your professional accolades and the times you have obliterated me at Scrabble, you continue to be so down to earth. 

 

You are so attractive. I cannot take my eyes off you at times. I love all your expressions. You are exactly my type: handsome, muscular, and brown – oof! 

 

Finally, you are so funny. We laugh so hard when we are together. You have literally made me fall out of my seat more than once. 

 

I am so lucky that God brought us together. I hear God’s voice in You as you encourage me to be peaceful, loving, and strong. You are one of the biggest reasons that I have gotten to engage with God in a way that I never have before. That relationship means everything to me. You’ve taught me what love is: supporting one another to manifest our purest, most complete selves. You taught me what it means to trust, and that trust is the currency of any and all relationships. You’ve taught me to run towards love. That is the way I want to live my life: sprinting towards love, not merely running away from the fears that chase me. 

 

Amar, I promise to support you in all that you do. I promise to build you up and not to tear you down. I promise to honor you. In word and in deed, I will show you honor. I promise to obey you, in that, I promise to trust you when you lead me. I promise to lead you, even as I am led by Jesus Christ. I promise to care for you as if we shared the same body. I promise to work toward conforming my desires to the state of our desires, as a couple. I promise to always be there for Kiran, as if she were my own daughter. I promise to be faithful, that I will hold you higher than anyone else for as long as we both shall live. 

 

I love you. Here, today, I commit myself, soul and body, to be devoted to your joy, your peace, and your comfort.